Beneath my thin veneer of professionalism is a deeply immature sense of humour. Imagine my delight when I read about the new levels coming to Astro Bot. They’re the most suggestive-sounding level names for a charmingly family-friendly game imaginable.
Let me present the five upcoming Astro Bot levels with no further context:
- Tick-Tock Shock
- Thrust or Bust
- Cock-A-Doodle-Doom
- Hard to Bear
- Armored Hardcore
The first one sounds tame enough, but the remaining four send my mind straight to the gutter. I’m not the only one either; this Bluesky post from game designer Izzy Kestrel alerted me to the news. After a hearty laugh, I double-checked the official source to confirm that yes, these are in fact the real names of levels getting added to last year’s Game of the Year winner.
Just in time for Valentine’s Day, I can’t wait to play “Thrust or Bust” and “Armored Hardcore” with my partner. Yes, the levels might not actually be out yet, but I’m not going to let that get in the way of my innuendo-loving brain making the connection with a highly commercialised day celebrating love in all its forms.
Starting today, Astro Bot will get one of the above levels per week as part of a free update. According to Nicolas Doucet, Team Asobi’s Studio Director, these levels will be “harder” than the previous Christmas-themed update. I bet they’ll be, Nicolas.
That’s not all; the latest update boosts the game’s performance for PS5 Pro players, “featuring a constant best resolution while still running at 60 frames per second.”
Needless to say, I loved Astro Bot when it launched last year. I’ll happily play any new levels it brings, double entendre or not.
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